Most of us who are parents of young kids can be seen either running after kids or shouting at them to make them look disciplined. As long as you are doing it happily, it’s great, coz that helps your kid enjoy life thoroughly. But, if you are doing it angrily or irritably, it’s time to change – not your child’s attitude but yourself. Yes, you’ve heard it right, and only if you change yourself you can stop getting angry at your child’s naughtiness.
First and foremost, please don’t expect something or anything from your child until and unless you are able to do it. That’s the easiest and sure shot way to improve your child mental, physical and all sorts of abilities. Expectations from a child are normal, nothing wrong in that, but also always remember child’s expectations from parents are normal too and that could be life-turning for them. Here we share some ways and tips, that if you are willing to read and follow (even like your first grade child who learns poem by heart) you can, literally, help your child be a better and healthier human adult tomorrow. Don’t run through them, instead try to understand each and every bit, exactly the way you instruct your child and expect him to do with his work. Let’s see how well you follow the followings. Take a look:
DON’T PLAY TRICKS WITH KIDS: There are various ways through which parents try to help their kids learn things in life. And most commonly – parents try some or the other tricks with kids. But remember, tricks work but only till an age. If they are less than 3 or so, that’s fine, but if they are above 4 or so, it’s advisable not to play tricks. Instead be honest! Yes. Tricks are temporary and so are their teachings! Once parents get over with their varieties of tricks, any naughtiness of a child invites wrath from parents. And that’s what spoils the child. Read it carefully, playing tricks with your child makes them more cautious of their parents’ tricky attitude of hang in a cheese to catch the rat. But with time, rats become smarter. And so do kids. You’ll soon realize if you follow the trick-way that your child starts doing the same in return. And there are more chances that child will not only, via his tricks of crying and all, get a toy from you and still do not deliver promise like studying on time or preparing for an exam. That’s tit for tat! Your being honest to them, will teach them to be honest with you. Your being smart with them, will make them smarter with you and since they’ll be an updated version, mind it, you will find it next to impossible to get hold of them. So, just be honest and not tricky to them.
YOUR KIDS ARE YOUR MIRROR IMAGE: Without a doubt that’s true. After all, they are made up of yours’ genes. So when a child studies well or behave quite disciplined, you take the credit. And when he or she shouts back or behave ill-mannered with people elder or younger to him or her, you slap your child as if this had nothing to do with you. Why? Do you ever look back and see when was the last time you shouted at your wife or somebody else and behaved inappropriately the way you witnessed your child? Most will be surprised that the moment wasn’t very far and difficult to remember. The only difference was you knew, being smart, where to shout and how to keep things well inside home, while your child who’s learnt from you to shout but didn’t know where to execute it. He’s in a learning stage. Some errors are likely to happen. So, he was doing what you normally do within four walls. Your child is simply your mirror image, (not a penny more, not a penny less) as long he’s not interacting with world outside. And since young children spend more time with their parents and see their parents as super heroes, they do get influenced by them, 100% completely. Simply, be polite to see them turn polite, behave well in order to see improvement in their behavior, work hard in order to see them working hard and pray almighty in order to teach them that everything belongs to Him in order to value whatever they have got.
TEACH THEM THE VALUE OF VALUES: It’s quite common to see parents with money power, spending on kids’ every dream and desire. At the same time, it’s also quite a common sight to see parents with not much in hand or struggling, living with a sense of guilt or burden for being failed to fulfill kids’ basic expectations as a parent. Both are wrong, absolutely wrong. Neither one with too much of money should get everything under the sun to pacify the child’s expectations nor one with less money should carry any sort of burden and a sense of guilt for not doing enough for your child. Not getting a toy or a game, liked by your child, isn’t something to be worried about. That could be a blessing in disguise. It’s been seen all over the world – most successful are the ones who at one time were short of even basic necessities’. Say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ loudly to yourself. Why do you need to remind yourself again and again that its hard work, patience, determination and no give-up attitude that makes one successful? When you yourself can’t value all these, how do you expect your child to value them. Teach them – from Cristiano Ronlado to Sachin Tendulkar, from Jim Carrey to Shah Rukh Khan – all came from families that were not only financially humble but had never dreamt to be so rich and famous. It was the value of real values that have made them what they are today. Most parents dream to have their kids successful like them. Teaching them the value of a dream and goal is more important than telling about price of home or car. Once they value your honesty, hardwork and determination, they will not only be better but surely greater than you could ever imagine them to be. So, be valuable to them.
DON’T TRY TO BE THE BEST, BE GOOD TOO: Do I need to tell you that you may get attracted to the best but you want people in your life to be good, even if they are not the best. Goodness makes life easier and stress free. Undoubtedly, there’s nothing wrong in trying to be the best. As somebody puts it very nicely, “What’s the point in getting promoted, the day you break up with your loved one?” The world has become difficult place to live, thanks to all those who are trying to be the best, leaving goodness far behind. Try to be good to your kids is the best possible way to make them good human beings. True, many would pounce to say goodness doesn’t pay. But it’s this thinking that has multiplied shrewdness and cunningness in the world out numbering good ones. Irrespective of what era you’re in, goodness always wins over evil. So, be good to your child in order to make him/her not only good but also much stronger. Goodness is the most nutritious diet you can give to your child to live life stress free.
No big deal, if you were aware of all the above. I am not challenging your knowledge and I don’t doubt it as well, all my intent is to share this – if you as an adult who’s seen life so closely find it so difficult to change yourself, how right is to expect so much from a child in this already stress bursting world. Start doing yourself is the best way to teach your child whatever you wish to teach him or her. Read a lot, if you wish to see him/her more with books,watch lots of sports, if you wish to see him/her in sports etc. Just try this, have patience and give sometime to it, you’ll be surprised not only you will improve yourself but sooner or later all this will be a part of your kid’s life. Like your blood he/she has inherited, like your property he/she will inherit…similarly your approach towards life positive or negative, enthusiastic or boring, will soon be your child’s route too. So, be good and happy.
Next time try not to slap your child, twist and turn yourself and you’ll soon have all the thing fall into right place – like Rubik’s cube!
(With open hearts and arms, worthylifetalks.com welcomes your opinions and views as this would help us make our stories more powerful and balanced while opening our horizons further to the world full of ideas, worthy of talks.)